


not your type of people

by andibeth82



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bechdel Test Pass, Female Friendship, Gen, Girl Power, In which Ward will probably get what's coming to him at some point, Team Bonding, Team Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-20
Updated: 2014-05-20
Packaged: 2018-01-25 20:05:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1660784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andibeth82/pseuds/andibeth82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maria places her glass demurely on the floor and stands up, slinging her arms over her chest defiantly. “Grant Ward, and I quote: ‘if Fury wanted eye candy around, he could’ve at least picked Romanov.’”</p>
            </blockquote>





	not your type of people

**Author's Note:**

> Truthfully, this idea has been percolating since the events of the Agents of SHIELD episode “Nothing Personal.” But it was [this gifset](http://isjustprogress.tumblr.com/post/85475973215/fromthemiddleoftheocean-if-fury-needed-eye) in particular that inspired the fic that needed to be written. 
> 
> Thanks to [bobsessive](http://bobsessive.tumblr.com) and [enigma731](http://www.archiveofourown.org/users/enigma731) for unintentional beta, feedback and encouraging me to post. And huge thanks to [fromthemiddleoftheocean](http://fromthemiddleoftheocean) for allowing me to write something based off her creation.

When Pepper Potts arrives at the townhouse on corner of New York’s 81st block, she’s greeted by two things, one of which is unorthodox and one of which is, in hindsight, rather normal.

The first is the Black Widow in low cut yoga pants and a “Property of S.H.I.E.L.D.” tee shirt that Pepper would have balked at, but that Natasha has already told her she refuses to throw away because it was the first thing Clint had gifted to her at the start of their partnership. The second is a loud and half drunk Maria Hill, who Pepper ascertains is yelling more at her empty wine glass than at anyone with an actual human presence.

“You’re late,” Natasha observes in her trademark droll as she opens the door wider, allowing Pepper to step inside.

“I’m sorry, I know,” she replies, toeing off her heels. “I had to finish the reports for the budget meeting next week and then Tony absolutely needed to make sure I ordered take-out for later because god forbid he does anything on his own when he wants to work late and what…” Pepper trails off as she looks around the room, finally taking notice of the way Maria is staring at her. “What’s going on?”

Natasha smiles wryly, closing the door. “I was going to explain, but maybe it’s better to hear it from the source.”

“Hear what?” Pepper asks in confusion as she sits down on the bed.

Maria places her glass demurely on the floor and stands up, slinging her arms over her chest defiantly. “Grant Ward, and I quote: ‘if Fury wanted eye candy around, he could’ve at least picked Romanov.’”

Pepper can’t help but flinch at Maria’s words; it’s the type of comment that she remembers getting when she first took Tony’s CEO job years ago and the one she knows still gets whispered around the halls. Still, she can’t help the laugh that escapes from her lips.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously,” Natasha cuts in, handing her a full glass of wine. “And then she promptly told him that she was going to tell me that he said that. In the time it’s taken you to get here, I’ve already come up with at least ten ways I’m going to make him wish he’d never been born.” She smirks, twisting her lips into a small grin. “That is, if he ever returns to the land of the living.”

“If he ever – what?” Pepper turns to face Natasha, who shrugs.

“Heard May fucked him up pretty good – almost as good as I would have.” She takes a drink. “If I had gotten my thighs around his head, though…”

“He doesn’t deserve your signature move,” Maria interrupts bitterly. “I should know, I vetted him.”

“Hang on.” Pepper holds up one hand, downing the alcohol that she feels she suddenly needs more than an actual explanation. “Where is all this coming from, anyway? Why would Ward even say that to you?”

“Oh, you _really_ didn’t get the memo,” Natasha says, picking up her cell phone as Pepper rolls her eyes.

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve been busy trying to make sure that S.H.I.E.L.D. agents have a place to go in the wake of this entire mess. And that the government doesn’t take away the last remaining bits of our organization,” she adds as calmly as she can. Maria sighs.

“Ward is Hydra,” she supplies, leaning forward with her chin in her hands.

“What?” Pepper sits up straighter, sloshing wine over the rim of her glass. “ _How_?”

“How is a long answer. As for why, I’ll venture to say it’s because he’s a little shit.”

“That’s the nice version,” Natasha says, without looking up from her lap. “She’s being kind, mostly because she’s already had a lot to drink.”

“I don’t care to be kind where Grant Ward is concerned,” Maria responds hotly, turning her gaze and narrowing her eyes. “And what the hell are you doing?”

“Nothing,” Natasha responds quickly, tucking the phone discreetly under her lap. Maria lunges for it, but Natasha is quicker, maneuvering her body into a position where she can neatly block the brunette, while managing to transfer her phone to her left hand at the same time.

“Romanov!”

“I said it was nothing!”

“You’re sexting Barton.” Maria folds her arms over her chest and Natasha purses her lips into a frown, looking defiant.

“So? Is there a rule against that? I mean, we’re not even employed anymore.”

Maria shakes her head. “No wonder you guys missed morning meetings,” she mumbles under her breath as she lowers herself back to the ground.

Natasha snorts softly. “Don’t look at me – I could make a list of the amount of times Barton has missed his _mark_ because he couldn’t keep it together.”

“Ward,” Pepper interrupts tiredly, bringing her legs to her chest as Maria and Natasha fall silent and Natasha places the phone on the bedside table.

“I could still kill him,” the redhead says after a beat, as if she’s contemplating what she wants to eat for dinner. “I don’t even need my Widow’s bite.”

“I could use some target practice,” Maria adds with a hint of vengeance.

“JARVIS could find him in about ten minutes,” Pepper offers with a small smile, and both Natasha and Maria turn their heads towards her in surprise before the three of them start laughing in unison.

“Do you think Ward had any idea what he was getting into with that comment?” Pepper asks when they’ve finally quieted. Maria laughs again, and shakes her head.

“He thought I was weak, that Romanov was eye candy, and probably thought you were still Tony’s assistant.”

“Sometimes I think still am,” Pepper replies wryly as she glances down at her own phone, before lifting her eyes. “More wine?”

“She’s had enough,” Natasha interjects, shooting Maria an eyebrow and a scowl. “I think we need to move on to plan B.”

“There’s a plan B?” Pepper asks, and even Maria looks slightly confused.

“Plan B,” disoriented voice breaks in, before Melinda May’s face appears on the screen of Natasha’s phone, looking slightly worse for the wear. “I get to tell you all exactly how I took him down.”


End file.
